It may take little more than a grope to prep your man for nooky, but get this: If you spend time engaging in preplay, you’ll pave the way for more pleasure than ever. “When a man is turned on before sex in the right way, it not only feels good, but his body is also more receptive and his orgasm more intense,” says sex expert Gloria Brame, PhD. Here, five foreplay-for-him maneuvers that’ll tantalize your guy.
PRE-SEX MOVE 1: Let Him View Your Bod
You...naked. It’s already the hottest gift for your guy. Let him really soak up the sight and he’ll sizzle to an even higher temperature. “Men’s brain chemistry changes when they’re presented with a sexy image,” says Brame, “so flaunting your body will make his desire climb.”
To give him a view to a thrill, crib these peep-show pointers. Push him down on the bed and straddle him. Then, while he’s defenseless, very leisurely peel off one piece of your clothing at a time. To really titillate him, let him sneak a peek at the good stuff — your breasts, butt, inner thighs — but then cover up again. When you finally get down to removing your panties, do it painfully slow so he feels the burn. “Once you’re naked, tease him by twisting your body over him in different directions, arching your back, and letting your breasts graze his face and chest,” says sex expert Ava Cadell, PhD. He’ll be absolutely aching for your touch by the time you finally press your body against his.
Take it from Kyle,* 22. “My girlfriend stripped and sat me down in front of a big mirror. Then she said ‘Hands off’ and began to undress me,” he recalls. “Watching her — but not being able to have her—was torture... in a good way.” Let him look, but don’t let him touch. That anticipation is a powerful tool.
PRE-SEX MOVE 2: Use Your Breath
Relax, you can leave the tantric breathing to Sting. But there’s something to be said for using your mouth to work up your man. Start by letting your parted lips linger somewhere on his body, like his stomach or chest, then slowly exhale. “The rush of hot air will create a temperature change in his skin and heighten arousal,” says Cadell.
“My girlfriend does this thing where she takes a long, wet lick up my neck, followed by a warm breath,” says Christopher, 29. “Or sometimes she’ll go really fast, alternating between licking and cool blowing on my nipples. It’s like a stimulation bonanza.”
Now, a couple of heated rounds like this and your guy’s gonna want to go for the gusto. So to reel him back: Work your way south to his package, pucker up, and blast a circle of cool air around his penis, as if you were putting out the candles on a cake. “Breathing cool air on a hot region will actually make his arousal last longer,” says Cadell.
*Names have been changed.
PRE-SEX MOVE 3: Play a Little Rough
When it comes to foreplay, most women crave a slow seduction. But guys often like the more forceful approach. “Men get turned on when women get a little animalistic and make maximum pleasure the goal. They take it as a sign of lust and an indication that she’s as into it as he is,” says Brame. To him, playing rough isn’t about bondage necessarily. “Guys just want a woman who can take the reins,” says Brame.
So seize carnal control with a gotta-have- him-now lip-lock. Nathan, 31, says his fiancée, Sally, has that smooch nailed. “She’ll take my tongue in her mouth and really suck on it,” he says. “I swear a rush shoots right to my groin.” Next, make him putty in your hands by physically moving him into different positions, scratching your nails down his back, and being ballsy when he tries to take over. For instance, if he makes a move to give you some down-there pleasure, pull him up, flip him over on his back, and let him be on the receiving end. Trust us, he won’t have a problem with this kind of authority.
PRE-SEX MOVE 4: Tantalize with Touch
Guys are surprisingly touchy between the sheets, and we’re not just talking about how he measures up to your ex. “Men desire a variety of hands-on stimulation techniques,” says Brame. And guess what, it’s not where you think. Instead of heading straight for his package, mix up your sexual touches — think: hard massage, long nail strokes, surprise pinches — all over his body to pique his pleasure.
That’s what Jess, 29, found out. “I thought the only place Jason was interested in being touched was between his legs, but when I pinned him down and started kneading his butt checks and sucking on his earlobes, he went wild,” she says. Jess has the right idea, according to Cadell. “These contrasting caresses electrify the nerve endings in his skin, and the surprise factor helps rev him up even more,” she says.
PRE-SEX MOVE 5: Bring Him to the Brink
And now for the frisky finale: Pull out the start–stop trick. “By teasing your guy mercilessly and bringing him dangerously close to climax repeatedly, you will ultimately intensify his orgasm,” says Brame.
To kick off his preorgasmic frenzy: “Draw a circle around his genital region with your lips,” says Brame. “The whole area from his upper thigh to lower belly is sensitive, and the teasing proximity of your mouth will excite him but still allow him to hold back his climax.”
Then read his body language to determine when he’s close to combusting and ease off. “When his body tenses up, you know he’s right there,” says Brame. If you don’t want him to climax yet, move your focus to another lusty location. And when you’re ready to finish him off... well, you’ve got it from here, right?
Pre-Play Props He Loves(and Hates)
Guys list the toys that turn them on and those they think are so tired.
MORE PLEASE...
Polaroids. “A girl I dated let me snap her while she was on top. That gift just kept on giving.” —Marcus, 26
Wigs. “My girlfriend put on a wig and took on a whole new sexual personality. It was so hot.” —J.T., 22
Fishnet stockings. “When my fiancée demanded I tie her hands with the stockings and then pleasure her, it was a chore I did without complaint.” —Hamish, 27
Lipstick. “My girl writes dirty messages all over my body, then we smudge them up.” —Doug, 20
ENOUGH ALREADY...
Chocolate syrup. “It sounds good in theory, but I hate turning up at my Laundromat with suspicious brown stains all over my sheets.” —Jeff, 21
Scented candles. “That vanilla crap always reminds me of my grandma’s house!” —Casey, 19
High heels. “Those darn things hurt when you cop one in the quad or butt cheek.” —Wes, 30
Sex lotion. “It may smell okay, but that flavored goop tastes like poison when you lick her body and get it in your mouth.” —Thomas, 22
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Foreplay Your Guy's Way
75 Crazy-Hot Sex Moves
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=|More Tipsex|=30 Sexy Conversation Starters
Yes, it's that time of year when the livin' is easy, but as you know, picking up a guy ain't always a breeze. There is nothing as hair-pullingly frustrating as being surrounded by a slew of delectable men and not being armed with a great strategy to break the ice and win a stud's attention — not to mention his heart. Cosmo knows that the biggest hurdle in hooking a new guy is choosing the perfect words or executing an eye-catching stunt that will launch you into a full-on flirtation. So we devised a handy chat-him-up crib sheet filled with sizzling, surprising icebreakers that will make babes eager to banter with you. Use it anytime you see a man you simply must meet.
The beach is bustling, with bronzed boys everywhere...
# Paddle up to a sexy surfer and say, "I drifted away from where my girlfriends are sitting. Would you mind if I climbed on your board for a second so I can get a better view of the beach?"
# When the gorgeous guy on the towel near you is smoothing on sunscreen, ask if he wouldn't mind giving you a dab. Rub it on your shoulders, then strain to reach the middle of your back, look defeated, and ask him for a heavenly hand.
# Get the gals together and start a rowdy game of Sandbunny. Never heard of it? That's the point; no guy will have either. Make up any rules you want — as long as they have you running around a lot and cheering loudly. When a circle of intrigued sporty studs forms around you and your bunny-mates, challenge them to a game.
# If you spy a cutie with a cooler of drinks, saunter over to him and offer a tantalizing trade. Say, "I'll give you half of this watermelon for a couple of sodas. Pretty sweet deal, huh?"
# Ask a cute beachcomber to take a picture of you "to send to a friend." Ask him if he'll pose in the shot and pretend to be your boyfriend. (Just kidding.)
It's Saturday night, and the bar is swarming with single studs...
# Ask the guy near the jukebox if he has four quarters for your dollar, then sweetly inquire if he'll be your deejay and help you pick out a few songs.
# While he's waiting for his turn during a pool game, tell a sharp shooter that you and your pal have wagered a beer on who will win, and he'd better not let you down.
# Don a necklace or T-shirt with your name on it or, if you're more daring, a cute moniker like Sweet Devil or Foxy Mama. Don't be surprised if a friendly fella starts chatting you up to see if you really live up to your title.
# Go to a sports bar wearing the cap of your favorite baseball, basketball, or football team. Guys who are also fans will want to bond, while rivals will pick a flirty fight.
# "Lose" one of your earrings. Start eyeing the ground, especially near that dude you'd like to date. Lift your hair and show him the other earring so he can help you in your search. When you both hit the floor, lock eyes with him, then smile when you're just inches away from each other's lips.
You're at a bookstore, a prime place to meet a cultured cutie...
# Ask the adorable guy in the fiction section if he can help you remember that best-seller by Tom What's-his-name. When he says he doesn't know, ask him to recommend a high-suspense book — you love a little mystery.
# Hang out in the travel section, planning an "upcoming trip." Ask a gorgeous globe-trotter for suggestions about where the hottest vacation locales are.
# Sit down at a table near him with a stack of intriguing books (a massage manual, a guide to mountain climbing, a Thai cookbook). Minutes later, ask if he'll watch them so they don't get reshelved while you make a quick phone call.
# If he works there, special-order an out-of-stock book and ask him to call you — any time at all — when it comes in.
# Pick out a humor book, sit down next to him, and start laughing seductively. Lock eyes with him and let him know you're not a psycho — this book is just so funny! Lean in to show him a hilarious line.
At a party, a man has you mesmerized...
# When he comes into the kitchen for another beer, enlist his help in opening a jar of olives or a bottle of wine.
# Say, "You look so familiar. Didn't we meet at Lisa's coed naked lawn-bowling party?" It doesn't matter that he won't even know who Lisa is; he'll be so intrigued, he won't be able to resist asking what exactly happens at a naked lawn-bowling party.
# Bring a hilarious card for the host of the soiree. Have everyone at the party sign it — it's an easy ticket to talk to your target.
# Practice some psychic savvy — read a few of your pals' palms, then ask him if he'd like you to read his.
# In front of the guy who's caught your eye, loudly announce to a pal that you're launching a thrill campaign to add excitement to your life — and you're now officially up for almost anything. Glance at him and ask, "Any suggestions?"
You're getting hot at the gym, and it's not from working out...
# Lay your mat near a dude doing crunches, and when he takes a sit-up break, ever-so-politely ask if he can show you the best move to get six-pack abs.
# You want to try the leg-press machine, but the last user left heavy weights on it. Ask a buff boy to help you remove them.
# Situate yourself near the hottie in your yoga class. When the instructor asks everyone to pair up for a headstand drill, ask him to be your partner. Just make sure to tuck in your shirt (or forget to).
# Compliment a stylish stud on his awesome, state-of-the-art athletic shoes and ask him where he bought them.
# After breaking a sweat, turn to a mouthwatering man and exclaim, "Ooh, I can't catch my breath — I just don't know if it's the workout or the company."
In the coffee shop, you scope out a hunky java junkie...
# If he has the latest laptop (or Palm or cell phone), ask him how he likes it and if you could take a look since you're thinking of buying one. If you're feeling bold, type in your name and phone number. If possible, add in the line, "I'd love to take a closer look at the merchandise."
# After taking a big sip of your mocha so your smackers get doused with whipped cream, ask if there's any whipped cream on your lip. Take a long time licking it off.
# Ask to borrow the movie section of his newspaper to see what's playing that night and casually inquire if he's seen any good flicks lately. If he gets really animated during your cinema chat, invite him to catch a 7:30 show with you.
# While standing by him in line for coffee, debate out loud which brew to order. "Do I want a skim latte with a shot of hazelnut? Is the caramel cappuccino good? Maybe I should try that." Then gently tap his shoulder and ask, "What do you think I should get?" He's sure to offer advice.
# As you're walking by a hot joe-sipping stud, seductively utter, "You know what they say about men who drink coffee...." When he smiles and asks, "What?" Tell him, "Catch me here at this time tomorrow and I'll tell you all about it."
These readers' bag-him bombs sent would-be Romeos running for the hills.
"While my lame dinner date was in the bathroom, a hot guy introduced himself. 'I'm sort of here with someone,' I told him. But when he left the restaurant, I ran into the street, yelling, 'We can still exchange numbers!' 'Never mind,' he said. 'I don't go for the desperate type.'"
—Sarah, 27
"I asked a cute guy if I could use his cell phone to make a really fast 'emergency' call. While I was dialing my home number, thinking of something convincing to say, my own cell phone started to ring in my bag."
—Natalie, 23
"I saw a stud walking his dog, so I purposely dropped my dog Pepper's leash, knowing my pup would run over to his pup. When the guy petted Pepper, my dog peed on his leg."
—Erica, 31
"I'd been chatting with this guy in a bar, telling him about the band I play in. 'You sound very talented,' he said. Feeling drunkenly bold, I murmured, 'That's not my only talent' and leaned in to kiss him. He pulled away and said, 'Nothing personal. I just don't like girls.'"
—Heidi, 26
Why Bad Sex Is Shortening Your Life
Talk about getting your knickers in a twist. When earlier this year a brochure from the British National Health Service announced, “An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away,” it created an immediate brouhaha, with educators and health experts calling it deplorable and warning that it would encourage "risky" behavior and STDs.
Okay, maybe the Health Service did go a bit too far when they created a page from a fictional high-school girl’s weekly planner with handwritten reminders to “masturbate!” and “bring condoms to the date on Saturday!” But it turns out, they have a very strong point. “There are a number of health benefits to be gained from having sex or an orgasm — or many orgasms — daily,” says Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD, author of Pleasuring: The Secrets of Sexual Satisfaction. The stress-relief goodies are obvious, along with better sleep and some PMS pain relief. But that’s just the small stuff.
In Peak Condition
Experts agree that there’s growing evidence of wide-ranging health benefits of orgasms, starting with the biggie: longevity. Research shows that men who have two or more orgasms a week live longer than do guys who have fewer than that. And while female orgasms haven’t yet been studied separately, another study shows that women who report enjoying intercourse live longer than do women who reported less pleasure in sex.
One reason for the longevity bonus could be that orgasms have positive effects on various organs and body systems. For instance, says Beverly Whipple, PhD, coauthor of The Orgasm Answer Guide, “Studies are showing that as sexual activity goes up, the risk of breast cancer goes down.” This could be due to the surge of hormones like oxytocin that comes with arousal and orgasm, the research suggests.
There is also evidence that frequent orgasms may protect against heart attacks and keep our brains healthy. “Functional MRI images show that women’s brains utilize much more oxygen during orgasm than usual, similar to the effects of exercise,” says Barry Komisaruk, PhD, coauthor of The Science of Orgasm. “In other words, the brain is being nourished,” which helps keep your mind sharp.
Meanwhile, you’re also blocking pain. Studies have shown that orgasms can work as natural analgesics to help alleviate menstrual cramps, migraines, and other aches. “Instead of ‘Not tonight. I have a headache,’” says Whipple, “maybe it should be, ‘Yes, tonight. I have a headache.’”
It’s possible that the hormone rush during climax may also function as a natural sedative, Whipple adds. A study of more than 1,800 American women who reported masturbating found that a whopping 32 percent said they did so to help them drop off to sleep.
And — maybe partly because of all that stress relief and beauty sleep — orgasms are good for your looks as well. In a study of 3,500 people, those who were rated to look 7 to 12 years younger than they they nearly always achieve orgasm alone, while less than half say that holds true during sex with a partner.
Satisfaction Guaranteed
But if you plan to have a daily orgasm the way you plan to have your yogurt and granola in the morning, won’t that make sex a tad unspontaneous? Au contraire, says Fulbright. “Daily is an ideal. You may not always have the time or the energy, but why not aim high?” Take it out of a to-do list mental category, she advises, and think of it as a personal investment. And use the frequency as an incentive to experiment. “Explore the differences in response and the potential different kinds of orgasms you can have,” she says.
Including the solo kind, which offers the same boons as boyfriend-induced Os, according to Whipple. You don’t need to be in a relationship with another person for regular orgasms to be a huge health plus, she says, adding, “You can be in a relationship with yourself and get the same benefits.”
Not only does all this stimulation kind of bathe you in a sexy glow — if you’re having that much sex, it’s going to be on your mind more, and that shows on your face and in your movements — but it also becomes this fabulous self-fulfilling prophecy. Because you’re thinking about it more, your hormone levels are elevated...so you have more sex...which makes you think about sex more often. Even if you don’t end up living longer, you’ll have a helluva lot more fun.
The New Way to Foreplay - 3
Too-Long Foreplay
A slow passion buildup is hot—to a point. Quit fooling around and do it already if…
• Your old carpal tunnel has kicked in from so much "handiwork."
• The new seductive sandalwood candle you lit suddenly smells very strong. Oh, wait, it's burned down to the bedside table.
• You've had so much skin-on-skin contact that your boobs are chafing.
• Your Twitter followers have filed a missing-person report.
• The only things you've eaten in the past 48 hours are whipped cream and strawberries.
• You've done the tips in this article so many times that for dirty talk, you're able to recite them to each other.
• You're starting to think that there's such a thing as "blue ovaries."
The New Way to Foreplay - 2
SWEET SPOT 3
The Erotic Pathways on the Sides of the Torso
Snaking from the bottom of the rib cage to the hips is a powerful nerve that, when stimulated, connects directly to your clitoris and your man's penis. "When you touch this area, it reflexively causes the pelvic-floor muscles to contract in both men and women, which increases arousal," says Dr. Ross.
You'll want to use a firmer touch here, since it's more ticklish than other spots. Start on one side, just underneath the rib cage, and either stroke the area with your hand or alternate between kissing (apply more pressure than usual with your lips) and lightly nibbling your way down to the hipbone.
"On a guy, you'll actually see his testicles and penis contracting," says Dr. Ross. "And you'll feel the contractions in your vaginal wall and clitoral area as he does the same move on you." The benefits here are twofold: Not only does it feel insanely good in the moment, but those pelvic contractions also create a buildup to one hell of an orgasm.
SWEET SPOT 4
That Pleasure Mound on the Lower Back
The knob at the base of the spine is rife with nerves with major pleasure potential. To take advantage, give each other a sexy rubdown.
Start at the shoulder blades, and work your hands down in a kneading motion. At the lower back, switch to a softer touch, and lightly spiral your fingers over the base. "This area is so receptive, just the softest touch will send chills throughout the body," says Dr. Ross.
Other sexy ideas: Lightly graze your cheek against the area — the unexpected skin on skin sparks an increase in the excitement hormone dopamine. Then softly kiss and trace your tongue along the same spot (just make sure he's shaved before he tries this on you). You can also brush the tips of your hair against the skin and then switch to raking your fingernails gently across it to deepen the sensation.
SWEET SPOT 5
The Teasing Trail on the Thighs
One of the most explosive nerves in the body is located at the top of the inner thigh. "It's called the ilioinguinal nerve, and it's incredibly sensitive to touch," says Dr. Millheiser.
In fact, it's best to save it for last and work your way up to it. Start by licking your finger (the wetness increases the stimulation) and slowly drawing it from the mid–inner thigh to the top. Then follow the path you just traced with your tongue, teasing your way to the upper region.
"Because the skin here is tender, it's important to watch how he reacts," says Buckley. "If he flinches, you're exciting the nerve to the point where it feels too ticklish." The fix: Give the area firmer kisses (it'll work on you too).
As your guy touches you here, you'll notice your breath becoming more rapid and your pelvis starting to spasm in that must-have-you-now way. The reason: "Caressing this area indirectly stimulates the genitals, since the nerves around it are firing pleasure signals to the brain," says Dr. Ross. Now is the time to put your guy's hand exactly where you're craving it… and enjoy the ride.
The New Way to Foreplay - 1
Chances are, you and your guy have a few go-to moves that are guaranteed to get you both hot and primed for action. And while it's great that you know what works on your bodies, sticking to the same old thing (an ear nibble here, a nipple lick there) won't lead to a bed-shaking finale. "When you touch each other in a familiar way every time, your body becomes desensitized, and it won’t feel as arousing," says Lori Buckley, PhD, a sex therapist in Pasadena, California.
So, on the hunt for new tricks, we consulted top foreplay experts and discovered uncharted erogenous zones so packed with powerful nerve endings, just touching them takes you from 0 to, um, 69. Read on to find out where they are and how you can electrify them tonight.
SWEET SPOT 1
The Ultrasensitive Border Around the Lips
Okay, so you know how to kiss. But what you probably don't know is that there's an undercover pleasure transmitter, the buccal nerve, surrounding the edges of the mouth.
"This area is extremely sensitive to touch, but it's often overlooked since most people focus on the plump part of the lips," says clinical sexologist Rachael Ross, MD, PhD. If you try lightly tracing the tip of your finger around the edges of your mouth (like you’re putting on lip liner), you'll experience a tingly, almost ticklish feeling.
When you're making out, you don't need to lick around his entire mouth to get the benefits — that would be weird. Instead, kiss him as you normally do, then use the tip of your tongue to trace the edge of his upper lip lightly. Pull back and playfully kiss him again, then trace the border of his bottom lip. "It subconsciously reminds him of your tongue swirling around the tip of his penis," says Dr. Ross. The technique works when he does it to you too, triggering thoughts of what his tongue can do below the belt.
SWEET SPOT 2
That Sexy Dip Where Neck Meets Chest
The entire area between your jawline and shoulders is an erogenous zone, but there's one particular destination that'll spark more goose bumps than any other part. "It's that little indentation where the neck connects with the collarbone," says Leah Millheiser, MD, director of female sexual medicine at Stanford Medical Center. "The skin is thinner there, and there's not as much fatty tissue underneath, so the sensations are stronger." In other words, touching this area feels damn good.
So as you kiss down his neck, trail the tips of your index and middle fingers from one shoulder to the dip in the center, lingering to swirl your fingers in a slow, circular motion. Then move your mouth over the spot and kiss it, using your breath to warm the area.
"The combination of the heat and touch relaxes the body, turning you on," says Buckley. "Plus, when your guy touches you here, your entire chest becomes more sensitive, including your breasts, which increases your pleasure."
=|More Tipsex|=Sex Positions
Whether it's a mind-blowing, bed-rattling orgasm you're after or a supersensory, soulful lovemaking session, our collection of steamy illustrations and step-by-step instructions has been tweaked and tailored by sex experts to help you reach your peak every single time. Climb on top of your cutie and take control with these sizzling strategies and sex positions.
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Source : cosmopolitan